Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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