They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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