i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
