Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
