So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
