You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
