Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I smell stomach acid.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
