fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
