Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
