something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
