So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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