I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
