drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize