it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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