My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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