I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
