Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
