took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
