she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize