Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm bleeding and have questions
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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