Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just gift wrapped bread.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
