So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
