alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize