Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
