so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
