Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
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