yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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