why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
