so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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