have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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