He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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