He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
