So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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