Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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