Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think people are normalizing furries
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
