i think i have herpe
just one?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
