my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
