we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
