make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize