I think I am morally bankrupt
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
