I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
