oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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