I wish I could punch you in the face.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so explain again why im purple
no
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
