Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
