I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
