I wish my penis had an off switch
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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