hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it was like eating out sand paper
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
