i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
