how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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