I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
