you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
