can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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