Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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