we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
