He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will pee on everything he values.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
