I bet he comes in French.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
