i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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