Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
