My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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