Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
