she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
