he puts the penis in happiness.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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