i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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