guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
