So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize