We're like a lot better than the average bears
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
