Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
