Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
