Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
