Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
