After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
