Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
