Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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