she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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