I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
