Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
