Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize