but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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