You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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