now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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