i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
