Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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