im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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