So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
